They’re making a voyage to
the sun
“His Master’s voice is calling me”
Says Tweedle-dee Dum to Tweedle-dee Dee
“His Master’s voice is calling me”
Says Tweedle-dee Dum to Tweedle-dee Dee
We had a thaw here on two weeks ago, with a high of 50 degrees, and then a week of twenty below. It seems as if the climate has
changed even since my first winter here, in 2004. Bizarre weather
patterns breaking out all over the place, lows broken in California,
highs broken here. No surprise for those of us who believe in global
warming, but everyone else seems to find it remarkable.
Are we making a voyage to
the sun? Are we going to turn and run? I have not called Goldman
Sachs, my investment bank, home of my meager savings. I hope to convince them to divest. Maybe
I should just write an open letter on these pages.
Dearest Goldman Sachs:
I am greatly appreciative of
the work you do managing my money. I appreciate that much of my
happiness in retirement--if, in fact, happiness is dependent on
financial security--is dependent on your management. I appreciate
that, even in difficult circumstances, you have made my investment
savings grow, at a rate beating my CD by about 1000%.
What I am less appreciative
is the demeaning names you call me behind my back. Although I am a
“muppet”, I am also intelligent, well-read, educated, and driven.
Just because I entrust my financial future to you does not mean that
I am dumb. If that is your opinion, I would like to know. I am not
a cow to be milked of whatever you can suck from me. I am not ahuman to your vampire squid.
I ask you to take a look at
the evidence for climate change. Take a simple, unbiased look at
what 99.5% of scientists, commonly accepted scientific theory, not
that provided by your employees, the executives of carbon-based
energy companies.
Will you please divest
entirely from carbon-based energy sources? Even if you view me as
food for your hungry vampire children, in need of cleaners and
nannies and boob jobs and botox and gardeners and private school and
Harvard, you must care about their future. You must not want them to
live in a world of chaos, despair, disaster, and economic collapse.
If so, do you think you can change course, you, middle-manager,
sitting there, deciding whether or not to invest some muppet's
pension in Exxon-Mobil?
Only you can slowly, but
surely, turn around this great ship of state. Unfortunately, such
power no longer is held by our elected officials.
Do you love your children?
What about your grandchildren? If you love your grandchildren, do
you believe they will love theirs? Their future rests in your hands.
I also believe it is a
sound—nay, prescient--investment strategy, enriching us both.
Warren Buffett is currently investing in alternative energy sources.
If you choose to stop buying shares in buggy-whip-factory stock, your
children may end up not just surviving apocalypse, but also retaining
their position in the oligarchy.
Also, will you please
refrain from manually abetting terrorists and mass murderers? [See
HSBC.]
Sincerely,
Melissa Jenks
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